화성에서 온 남자 금성에서 온 여자

화성에서 온 남자 금성에서 온 여자 -존 그레이 지음-
" 아마 여러분은 몇 년 동안 싸움은 커녕 큰 소리 한번 내 본 적도 없는 부부가 돌연 이혼을 결정해 사람들을 놀라게 하는 경우를 본 적이 있을 것이다. 이런 경우는 대부분 싸움을 피하려고 여자 쪽에서 자신의 부정적인 감정들을 삭이며 살아 온 것이기 쉽다. 그 결과 그녀는 사랑을 느끼는 능력을 잃은 무감각한 사람이 된다. 부정적인 감정이 억압될 때는 긍정적인 감정도 함께 억눌리게 되고, 사랑도 희미하게 빛을 잃는다. 논쟁과 싸움은 물론 피하는 것이 좋겠지만 감정을 억압해야 한다면 곤란하다." (pg 173-174)

I just read this book...I heard about it for so many years but did not have a chance to read it. Not sure whether I liked this book that much. I felt like the author generalized relationship too much (even though probably a lot of what he said is true!). However,I could not agree more with this one paragraph I typed up above. Not only within my previous relationship but within my relationship between family members, I usually take a passive role rather than fighting or arguing . Maybe because of my passiveness/detachment, I became a person who is unable to sure about her ability to give out love. I talked to a priest during Cunae retreat about my ability to love. Unknowingly, I protect myself from being emotionally too involved with others (which can lead me to getting hurt). When my priest asked me, "so how do you think you can start loving others?" I wasn't sure what the right answer was. The priest said, "Don't think you are the source of love. Let the love flow. The love you are getting from Jesus, make it flow." Honestly, that sounded like a good solution to my problem, but still it is not a part of my life yet. It might take years for his word to really sink in.